Grocery shopping….the one thing I procrastinate doing. Brainstorming meals, rushing to the grocery store, cutting coupons and fighting with two children who want a “treat” when they finish. This is not always the case, but I’m sure some of you can relate as our schedules are very full at times. This week, I wasn’t sure where I wanted to do my observation, but it wasn’t until I went grocery store one day after work that I saw a mother and infant interacting with one another while shopping through the aisles.
The mother, who looked in her mid 20’s, didn’t catch my eye until we seemed to cross paths in each aisle. Her daughter looked about 4 months old and sat in her car seat near the front of the shopping cart while her mother shopped. She caught my eye particularly because when she first started talking, I thought, “Who is she talking to?” “The vegetables?” She then took the carrot and showed her daughter and said, “Let’s get some carrots…daddy loves carrots.” “I think so too..daddy will love them” and started putting the carrots in a plastic bag. I then thought to myself…”What a great mom.” I could immediately tell that the mother valued her time and relationship with her daughter. Repeated social encounters that are rich and spontaneous are what foster the relationships between babies and caregivers (Kovach & Da Ros-Voseles, 2011). Then, I went to the next aisle and saw the mother smiling and tickling her daughter’s toes before she went to grab a can of soup. It was evident through this mother’s verbal and non-verbal gestures that she valued the time with her daughter within something as routine as going to the grocery store. When we communicate with babies, it validates their self-worth (Kovach & Da Ros-Voseles, 2011). The interactions between this mother and daughter were priceless. Through this child’s smiles, laughter and eye contact, it was clear that this mother’s messages indicated, “I love you” “you are valued” and “you are special.”
It made me think about when I had my first child and our interactions together when she was a baby. We shared a special bond, but I never felt comfortable talking to her in public. I always felt embarrassed and always wondered what other people would think if they saw me talking to myself. I now realize that I was never talking to myself, but empowering our relationship and modeling rich language.
This week I have learned to “step back” and to avoid steering children in what I want them to say (Stephenson, 2009). Silence and waiting for a response is okay to do. Growing up silence was very uncomfortable for me, but I have learned that it’s okay. We don’t always have to jump in to give suggestions, steer our answers or give answers. Sometimes silence is good as it allows us to step back in order to really “listen” to our students.
References:
Kovach, B., & Da Ros-Voseles, D. (2011). Communicating with babies. YC: Young
Children, 66(2), 48-50.
Stephenson, A. (2009). Conversations with a 2-year-old. YC: Young Children, 64(2),
90-95.
Tammy,
ReplyDeleteI was smiling as I was reading your post. I am not a mother, so I don't know the joys of spending precious time with a child, but from reading your post I could tell that mother loved her child a great deal. I do believe that that child will grow up very intelligent and caring because that's what was shown to her.
Tammy,
ReplyDeleteI too enjoyed reading your post and I found myself visualizing the interactions you were able to witness. I hope that this mother continues to communicate with child this way as her daughter grows. I think that if she continues to do this her daughter will cherish the time she is able to spend with her mother at the grocery store. I can remember always going grocery shopping with my mom and my mom always found ways to include me in the shopping so it was more fun. I found myself doing the same thing when I needed to run into the grocery store quickly last weekend to pick up some corn bread mix for my grandfather's 93rd birthday lunch and I had my nephew and niece with me. Even though they are older I was explaining to them why we needed the mix and how they could help me bake the corn muffins when we got home.
Tammy,
ReplyDeleteWhat a revelation for you! I really enjoyed reading your observation, personal experiences, and newfound goal in effectively communicating! "Stepping back" was also something I am prepared to begin focusing on. I always wanted to take advantage of teachable moments and do so at the very second that moment was occurring, however I am now feeling more inclined to "step back," listen and observe the situation before jumping right in. I want to start really listening to what my students have to say; their thoughts and feelings entirely! Thanks for sharing!!
Shawna
Thank you for sharing this information with us. My experience in the grocery store was quite opposite. The mother I watched wasn't paying much attention to her child as her daughter asked question. You are correct, there is a unique bond between mother and child.
ReplyDelete